We all have faced kolaveri moments in our lives due to certain people. Moments when we feel a rage building inside ourselves. Moments which leave us scrambling to hide our faces. Moments when we feel there is no use trying to explain things to them. Moments when we just pity them.
Well, this blog aims to share some of my kolaveri moments. Though these kolaveri moments were experienced with different people, for simplicity’s sake, I am describing these moments keeping in mind a fictional Auntyji, her husband Uncleji and their three children: Bade Bhaiyya, Chinku and Little Tina. While most of these kolaveri moments are true, some are cooked up for the sake of continuity of these conversations.
Me: Auntyji, please take these sweets. I am happy to inform that I have got admission into NIT Trichy where I will be pursuing engineering.
Auntyji: Thats nice Beta. But why are you going to Tiroochi? I hear only about students coming to Chennai to study engineering from all over India.
Me: *head slam* But Auntyji, NIT is among the top institutes……(stops me)
Auntyji: Its ok beta, you should study what you want. Besides, whatever happens is for one’s good. So, dont get disheartened if u didnt get admission here. Oh, did I tell you about Chinku? He is in his final year at the prestigious Champulal college. Nearby only. Comes home daily. Studies well, only 3 arrears but now all clear.
Me: *bang**bang**bang* Oh, thats nice aunty.
Auntyji: Yes, we are very lucky. He can come home daily and enjoy. I feel sorry for you dear, you have to go to Tiroochi. Very hot climate. And hostel life would be tough, adjusting with local tamilians and all. But anyway you will come out tougher.
Me: (Oh for goddamn sake,atleast pronounce it correctly. Its Trichy not Tiroochi) Thank you aunty.
Little Tina comes running in.
LT: V bhaiya, you are going to live separately and study? How come? Bade Bhaiya and Chinku all studied in home only at Champulal college. Why dont you join there V Bhaiya?
Auntyji(whispering): Ssshh Tina, don’t be so rude. Now wish him all the best.
LT: Sorry V Bhaiya. All the best. Hey, what will you be studying in Tiroochi Bhaiya? Hey firstly where is Tiroochi Bhaiya?
Brings out a globe and asks me to locate it.
Me: *blank* Engineering. TRICHY is close from here.
LT: Yaaaay, engineering.Is it computers? My brothers who always do geeky stuff with computers. Will u teach me computer after engineering bhaiya?
Me: No no Tina. I will be studying Instrumentation engineering.
LT: Oh wow. It about making musical instruments isnt it? I love music bhaiya. I am also going to become instrument engineer like you. And I am not very intelligent like my brothers to work on computers.
Auntyji: See Tina, now you can ask bhaiya to make violin for your music class. You wanted new violin no?
Me: (Why did I even come here?)
Auntyji: Hello, V beta. So thin and dark you have become. You must be suffering there. Here have some peda. Whats that beta?
Me: Its my android phone aunty.
Auntyji: Nice…but I don’t understand beta, this android and iphone and all. What is the difference between them and Nokia- DoubleX DoubleY. Both are used to call and send message and even my phone has camera also and snake game too.
Me: *bang* These phones are different in sense that they have different operating systems blah, apps blah, customizability blah…
Auntyji: I don’t understand these engineering terms beta….Anyway leave it.
A few days later when I am trying to unravel a tight shoe lace knot when uncleji stops by and removes the knot in a jiffy.
Uncleji: What is this V? U are engineering student and u don’t know how to tie shoe laces.
Next time, when I fumble in trying to screw a loose nut of my table fan, uncleji stops by and does it in a jiffy.
Uncleji: You and all an engineering student.
Me: (Yeah right, I study Digital Signal Processing and Control systems. How in the world is studying engineering related to these situations)* smiles like a dork* Thank u uncleji.
P.S- Kindly pardon the pathetic use of the English Language in some places. It has been done to represent the situation realistically.